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Anita's London Life

A blog about my experiences of being a creative chasing her dreams in London Town

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Dance

The Day After A Show

The day after a show always feels the same; I feel exhausted but so alive. My muscles are aching and still tingling from the night before, my mind is unsettled, not much sleep from going over steps, corrections and numerous moments that happened in the weeks leading up to yesterday.  There is a buzz in the air, a feeling of exhilaration and accomplishment, I feel happy, I feel complete.

The day after a show is a day of complete bliss for me, it’s the day in between the excitement of the performance and the day of “what next?” Time stops and I can just enjoy that my hard work has paid off and that I am doing what I love; performing. I feel useful; that my life has meaning once again; So this is why I train over 20 hours a week?! If it is, then all the moments of self doubt, pain and frustration are so worth it.

This particular show; The Spring Professional Semester Showcase really had an impact on me; first of all, I felt so free and happy when I was on stage, as cheesy as it sounds there were times when I felt like I was flying! However, it was the positive feedback I received from peers, friends and teachers which really shocked me, all that was going through my head was “Me!? Really..? You’re talking about me? and not someone else?” I guess like many performers, I doubt myself a lot….. I really need to stop doing that. I was in fact so shocked ( and probably the adrenaline too) that the rest of the evening I was shaking, and had absolutely no appetite (friends that know me will know that’s a rare occurrence) and was doing Grand Jetes on the sidewalk whilst singing “Bring on the men”at midnight, maybe this was the cause of my fatigue the next day, just a thought.

The weeks leading up to the showcase (in other words the month of April) were challenging. I am a believer that bad things come in groups and so do good things. It just so happened that during the month of April, the universe decided to throw quite a few unhelpful things at me; I had managed to get sick, then I had four separate injuries (don’t ask me how!), my grandmother became quite ill and a few relationships were on the rocks, there were other minor things too but the point is I got through it, I felt like I managed to take all of it in my stride and in the end I had a great showcase. What I learnt this month was to take time to look after my body outside of dance classes, which may seem obvious, but I’ve always been one of those dancers that says “I’ll be fine, I don’t need to do anything extra”. Well, turns out I do. So now, I roll out and stretch my muscles on a daily basis and I’m feeling like my body is thanking me for it!

Now, I’ve got through the tougher weeks, I feel like the universe is throwing me some nicer things now, and I’m definitely appreciating every single one of them!

Anyway, that’s all for the month of April, very soon I will be writing another post for May….

and it may be my last in NYC. I can’t bear to think of it, but all good things must end one day and new good things will begin again,

Anita xxx

 

 

 

 

 

No Man’s Land

So there is currently a blizzard going on outside, and I’ve been indoors all day, so instead of being stuck with thoughts going through my head I thought I will do the thing that I love to do and that makes me feel better: Write.

It’s time to update you on what has been going on throughout February and some of March and it’s going to be a difficult one as lots of small things happened but none that were exactly inspirational or life changing. I suppose the point of this post is that maybe it’s ok to be at peace with the grey area, or as I like call it; No Man’s Land.

Yes, ever since early February I have been stuck in No Man’s Land; in between the deep depression and mind blowing joy that life can bring, I have neither been deeply happy nor sad, neither profoundly inspired or uninspired, I have just felt…. well not a lot. Has anyone else experienced this?

The feelings I have felt have been yearning; a yearning for home, for the people I love to be close to me, for me to love someone and to be loved. All in all I am in need of a break and thankfully this week is Spring Break and I’m going to take some time for myself to reset and re-become who I truly am; energized, inspired and excited. I love the Big Apple, but we all need to press “pause” sometimes, do what we truly love and to be selfish; in my case I’m writing.

So now, a few things that happened this past month: -I turned 23!

-I went blonde

-I volunteered with ASTEP and taught under-privileged kids a dance class

-I saw Complexions and NYCB’s Sleeping Beauty

-I created my american dance C.V and Showreel

-I visited Canada

-I appeared as an Extra in a comedy sketch video

-I went to a Swing Dance Event

-I had new exciting Headshots Taken

-I had Brunch at the Boathouse in Central Park

-I was a Judge at the ISVP placement at Broadway Dance Center

-I took a Rockettes Masterclass

-I changed my concentration to split with Street Styles

-I took my first ever heels class

-I’ve started to Tap again

WHAT! OK, so I’ve just had a realization; I am so incredibly LUCKY! I’m just looking at all the things I have done this past month and a half, I’ve done so much. I’ve also had another thought; I am being so hard on myself; there I was thinking I hadn’t achieved much this past month and I was so wrong. Despite feeling a little down, I have done a lot that I should be proud of and it’s time to take a little credit for that. Many people have said to me “You are too hard on yourself” and I never believe them! Maybe now here is some evidence that I’m wrong. Maybe this is the first step towards the correct side of No Man’s Land…..And all it took was a little writing.

So now I challenge you to take a moment to write down a list of everything you have done this past month, be it as simple as fixing something that needed to be fixed, lending someone a helping hand or completing homework that was assigned to you. I bet you will be surprised at how many things you have achieved in one month, and it will give you a feeling of well-being and achievement, because as people we all tend to be too hard on ourselves.

I didn’t mean for this blog post to turn into a therapy session, but that is the beauty of writing, it’s a journey,

And let’s face it, we all need a helping hand sometimes whether we like it or not.

Anita xx

 

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