So there is currently a blizzard going on outside, and I’ve been indoors all day, so instead of being stuck with thoughts going through my head I thought I will do the thing that I love to do and that makes me feel better: Write.
It’s time to update you on what has been going on throughout February and some of March and it’s going to be a difficult one as lots of small things happened but none that were exactly inspirational or life changing. I suppose the point of this post is that maybe it’s ok to be at peace with the grey area, or as I like call it; No Man’s Land.
Yes, ever since early February I have been stuck in No Man’s Land; in between the deep depression and mind blowing joy that life can bring, I have neither been deeply happy nor sad, neither profoundly inspired or uninspired, I have just felt…. well not a lot. Has anyone else experienced this?
The feelings I have felt have been yearning; a yearning for home, for the people I love to be close to me, for me to love someone and to be loved. All in all I am in need of a break and thankfully this week is Spring Break and I’m going to take some time for myself to reset and re-become who I truly am; energized, inspired and excited. I love the Big Apple, but we all need to press “pause” sometimes, do what we truly love and to be selfish; in my case I’m writing.
So now, a few things that happened this past month: -I turned 23!
-I went blonde
-I volunteered with ASTEP and taught under-privileged kids a dance class
-I saw Complexions and NYCB’s Sleeping Beauty
-I created my american dance C.V and Showreel
-I visited Canada
-I appeared as an Extra in a comedy sketch video
-I went to a Swing Dance Event
-I had new exciting Headshots Taken
-I had Brunch at the Boathouse in Central Park
-I was a Judge at the ISVP placement at Broadway Dance Center
-I took a Rockettes Masterclass
-I changed my concentration to split with Street Styles
-I took my first ever heels class
-I’ve started to Tap again
WHAT! OK, so I’ve just had a realization; I am so incredibly LUCKY! I’m just looking at all the things I have done this past month and a half, I’ve done so much. I’ve also had another thought; I am being so hard on myself; there I was thinking I hadn’t achieved much this past month and I was so wrong. Despite feeling a little down, I have done a lot that I should be proud of and it’s time to take a little credit for that. Many people have said to me “You are too hard on yourself” and I never believe them! Maybe now here is some evidence that I’m wrong. Maybe this is the first step towards the correct side of No Man’s Land…..And all it took was a little writing.
So now I challenge you to take a moment to write down a list of everything you have done this past month, be it as simple as fixing something that needed to be fixed, lending someone a helping hand or completing homework that was assigned to you. I bet you will be surprised at how many things you have achieved in one month, and it will give you a feeling of well-being and achievement, because as people we all tend to be too hard on ourselves.
I didn’t mean for this blog post to turn into a therapy session, but that is the beauty of writing, it’s a journey,
And let’s face it, we all need a helping hand sometimes whether we like it or not.